Grant Submission: Post-game

Today's post will be a bit long and probably ramble at times. (the grammar will likely suck as well. ha ha) I'll be explaining elements of my failed grant submission, which I've kept pretty close to the chest while I was awaiting the Sequential Artist Workshop's decision.

I learned about the SAW grant one day completely by accident. There was a website that had a feed that posted up Twitter tweets from writers and artist who do sequential art and I clicked on the wrong one. This click took me to Kate Beaton's Twitter page, where she had just tweeted the link to the Sequential Artist Workshop's web page, specifically the page that listed their grants.

I had not really given any thought to pursuing grants. I'm sort of 'old school' in thinking that, a man puts in his hard work, "pays his dues," and eventually gets things to a point where he can do the dreams he knows he must do. The idea of seeking some funding to help along my plans (besides, ya know, working and saving up) just never really registered. I never was one to have many heroes to sort of mold my life after. I did have some people I admired though and most of them went through the long process and worked hard until they kind of "made it." For me, that was pretty much the only way to do it. So, seeing what was required for this grant in front of me and realizing what that cash could do to help along some stuff I had stewing, change my perception. It struck me as an opportunity I had to go for.

The SAW grant is awarded twice a year to projects that the Workshop feels are creative and interesting, done in any form of sequential artistic styling (comic strip, graphic novel, illustrated kids book, etc.) As long as I have been doing graphic design (either as my main or secondary job, about 12 years now) I've had the desire to do varied sequential art projects. But, as stated before, I had not really been thinking about full investment of time in them, because I needed to build myself up so I could focus considerably on them. Finding this possibility of funds being received SPECIFICALLY to go into a project, was fantastic.

But, there was an interesting catch.

The deadline date for the submission was 1 month and 2 weeks away, by the time I discovered it. If I didn't go for this one, I'd have to wait nearly all year long for the next opportunity to submit for a grant.

Thus, I decided to take up the challenge and go for the March 15th deadline.

Now, with such a narrow window of opportunity, the race was on to get it all together for the deadline. I had to fill out an application, create a website for the submission committee to view, and write a working script to draw up. (I'll make sure to explain that, for anyone who doesn't know about the way a sequential project works, in the comments below.)

On days where I'm in the middle of a design job and waiting for emails back on layouts I've sent in for approval, I write short stories. Most of them don't go for many pages nor are that fully fleshed out to be worth showing. I had a few concepts I was fond of and just wanted to stretch another creative muscle of mine. With the deadline being so near and me being a bit unprepared for it ( story development-wise) I decided to dust off one of these shorts and convert it from prose to script.

The particular piece I selected, was a story called "Thanks, Jules!"

"Thanks Jules!" (the title partly inspired by both the TV show "Psych" AND an in-joke with a few people I know..which is a bit long to share in this posting) is at its root, a straight-forward story of a young man who meets his truest love...at the beginning of the last year of all existence. It also happens to be somewhat of an allegory for, the futility of people seeking love and acceptance, while their view of having a future of any sort, is bleak and quite skeptical. A LOADED story, to be sure, but my meager goals for the submission were simply this: The first 6 pages, intro-style, of the first chapter (which would end up being 16 pages.) My thoughts were that if I had about a month (likely less due to obligations I had that weren't work or personal related) I could AT LEAST get that initial set-up of story in the first 6 pages.

It looked easier than it ended up being.

I'll refrain from all the gory details but, besides a few hours during my church's annual retreat, every single day of that month working on the project was sporadic and disjointed.
The quality of the art didn't suffer, though. It flows together nicely and I was actually far more meticulous with my approach at the drawings than ever before (especially due to the images needing to tell a story, as opposed to my usual design work, which is normally a static image). I think each page was...drawn twice? And there were two sets of thumbnails for them as well (mostly due to some script tweaking that happened in the mid-month.)

Despite all that, though, I can't say the whole time working on it was wonderful. I had to push myself further than I ever have and really approach my work ethic from some intriguing new angles. There were moments that, due to those obligations I mentioned before, I had to stay up very late, miss meals, not get to do my regular exercise regiments, etc, etc.

Still, I loved the process of creation, waking up every morning to put together something that I came up with, from initial concept to final pages.

Hopefully, I'll get another season in which I'll be free enough to try for a grant. I've got a taste for it, for creating a story with my words an images in hopes for sharing it with all of you.

- Conduct Lionhardt

 

Ink rough, for a panel from page 2

 

 

close-up inks of a panel from page 2

Ink roughs of a panel, for page 3

 



Ink roughs of a panel, for page 4

 

Ink roughs for a panel on page 4

Back from a cool experience

Hello again.

I'm actually shocked at how much time has passed since I last posted something on the blog...Definitely a lot more time than I honestly wanted to exist between postings.

It is kind of crazy when you become so wrapped up in your work/life that things you wanted to make an important priority become the first to be ignored. Unfortunately for me, the blog ended up being that.

However, today's post is a catch-you-up on what's consumed my many hours away.

I had an opportunity come along that I couldn't let pass: A submission for a sequential art Grant.

Sadly... I return to you empty-handed. Some other lucky and talented people were awarded the grant money from the Sequential Artist Workshop. For me, however, it was an experience which ended up being full of valuable lessons. I learned quite a bit about my ability to work under a tight deadline (made even tighter due to several events in other non-paying obligations I have, coming out-of-nowhere,) inking my own pencils, composition, writing, and putting in the right amount of time on character design.

The project challenged me in ways that my graphic design work never has, expanding my understanding of the differences between 'static' image design (that mostly comprises graphic design jobs I get tasked,) and feeding into a greater sense of what will be required for my advancement toward the illustration field, in terms of sequential storytelling.

Despite putting in major hours at the drawing table, writing (and RE-WRITING my entire script,) building a web page to display the work, and providing additional essay material to map out my process, I ended up with the beginning to a graphic novel but, no means to continue putting in large amounts of time on it. Still, in this instance, the JOURNEY was the thing, taking me along a much needed 2 months and suitably giving me the experience and knowledge needed for future work in sequential art and narrative.

I'll likely go for a few other grants I've heard about at some point. I have plenty more pages and other ideas that I'd love to see meet the light of day. Some of it is stuff I've always wanted to do but haven't been able to focus on due to...well, needing to spend time on what pays FIRST.

So, with that grand experience behind me, I'm back to good ole' "Conducting Thoughts," sharing some of my thoughts, artwork, NEW music, and interviewing creative people about interesting subjects. I see the site has had some nice traffic from unexpected places and I'm hopeful they'll be more as I try my best to post up things that are worth stopping by and see/read.

Thanks for reading!

- Conduct Lionhardt

Conducting Thoughts with: Ozay Moore

Ozay Moore has been putting in hard work crafting some enjoyable hip hop for a majority of his worldwide fanbase. Staunchly entrenched in the purest ethic of the artform, he places his heart, his energy, and belief into every project and live show he does. I was lucky enough to catch him in one of the best local small venues a few years back and he brings everything to the stage, people. So, when it came time to bring back my monthly interview series here at Conducting Thoughts, I could think of no better person to speak with than him. But I wanted to come at him from a different angle so here, I decided to speak with Ozay NOT about his music but, instead, what it is like to be an artist who's traveled almost worldwide.

(Ozay has some traveling music to go along with the interview, peep it HERE)

Conduct Lionhardt: I know that due to your music, you've been given the opportunities to go to many, many places in the world. We'll get into just how many in a second but, where was your first trip outside of the U.S. and how old were you?

Ozay Moore: My first trip outside the United States was to Mexico. I was a sophomore in high school. my family and I took spring break in San Diego and drove across the border into Tijuana and on down to Ensenada. Both were experiences. At that time I finally understood that the world was a lot bigger then the community I lived in. I guess you could say it made me hungry to see the world.

Conduct: Alright! If you can remember all of them, what places worldwide have you travelled to?

Ozay: Japan, Spain, Amsterdam, Great Britain, Germany, Ireland, Scotland, Norway, Sweden, Mexico, and Canada.

Conduct: Is there any particular location, of the places you've listed above, that hold a real special place in your heart? Why that place?

Ozay: I would have to say my favorite place to go is Japan. Not only have they shown me a tremendous amount of support, I also love the country. Its history is rich, they're technological advances are crazy, the culinary experience is amazing, and its just overall a beautiful place.

Conduct: I've heard from plenty of well traveled touring artists that certain countries respond really well to live performers such as yourself. What places have the most live crowds?

Ozay: Another reason why I am so fond of Japan. I've toured there now on 5 separate occasions. Each time was amazing. my very first experience in Japan was in 2005. this happened upon the unexpected success of the EP "classic". The label I was on (Mic Life) put together a tour featuring myself & The Procussions. It was literally like living a dream. We performed at the prestigious Blue Note Jazz clubs and packed out every set. The Hipknotics band was there as well so you can imagine how legit it felt. I've been there once with Lightheaded, another time with my wife, and 2 other times on a solo mission. Although there was a language barrier, the way that the crowds responded in those live setting were fully engaged. In some cases although not knowing English, fans would be singing lyrics to the song. I would only know they didn't know english by my attempts to build with them after the show. Alittle dedication to communicate goes a long way.

Conduct: Wow, that's pretty amazing. Has traveling to so many different places affected things outside of your music, such as an interest in learning more languages?

Ozay: In my travels I've developed a desire to learn many different languages... I have yet to learn any of them ha ha. I mean depending on the country I can usually get along okay, but I am by no means fluent in any other language but English. It's a shame. I will say though, music regardless of the language it's recorded in is pretty universal. I'm glad that it has at least allowed me to gain audiences around the world.

Conduct: Did any locations suprise you by going beyond or below the expectations you had for them?

Ozay: In every country I've been, I feel like my expectations were always exceeded. the measure in which most people in other countries go to accommodate guests is nothing short of extraordinary. Across the board I would have to say that is the most common difference... hospitality.

Conduct: That's actually something comforting to hear, my friend. What are the ESSENTIALS (in your opinion) for world travel, as a music artist?

Ozay: I feel like if you want to get the most out of your experience in another country , go seeking to learn about them. Ask questions and show interest for where they live who they are and the history of their country. Right off the bat you've curbed the stereotype of a typical American... in which most cases they assume you are. I've heard it time and time again from locals in other places, that usually when a hip hop artist comes to town they only seek for weed and women. so needless to say posture yourself humbled to be there and soak it all in. By the time you leave you'll be happy you did. oh yeah and Build with local artists.

Conduct: You mentioned both travelling with others and solo. What were some of the differences of traveling alone? Did you find more time to focus on certain things or perhaps moments of personal introspection?

Ozay: When traveling with other folks, someone like me ends up Thirsting for time alone. Don't get me wrong I enjoy company, I just know I need time by myself to soak up what it is I'm experiencing. It's like when I hear a good sermon I usually want to take some time alone afterwards to process and internalize what it is I heard. One of my favorite moments in travel had to be my last trip to Japan. I was actually with my home boy DJ Tonk climbing a mountain southern Japan. to climb a mountain that has stone steps carved into the side of it thousands and thousands of years old, and to bear witness ancient relics older than the country you live in still intact and in arms reach was phenomenal. When we got to the top of the mountain repressed ourselves and a large rock heated up some instant udon noodles with some super fly high tech Japanese contraption and sat quiet for like an hour. That junk was powerful.

Conduct: Sounds like! Has going to these places changed your perspective on things at home?

Ozay: Bringing my experiences home always challenged to me to find ways in applying what I've learned abroad ... locally. Those connections weren't always natural ones. Sometimes just knowing the world is bigger than the corner you live in can help you better understand people more. As an MC, to understand people and connect with them where they're at is not only my job, but my passion.

Conduct: Were there any spiritual experiences these travels afforded you?

Ozay: While in Japan I had the honor of building with a local church in Utsunomia. My experience there was truly special. To understand Japanese culture, and then to understand the pride for it especially amongst their elders. Then to see them going against everything they were brought up knowing in pursuit of Jesus as an older man or woman is the kind of thing that will strengthen any believers walk. That was one of many memorable spiritual experiences for me abroad.

Conduct: Yeah, that surely is some inspiring stuff. I'm glad you've had moments like that while on your many journeys. Thanks so much for Conducting Thoughts with me.

Feel free to keep up with Ozay Moore and what he's into @ Twitter and Facebook. You can also catch some music on his soundcloud and check out what he and some friends are doing to help educate kids about hip hop culture @ www.alloftheabovehiphop.org.

Be on the lookout for these releases from him in 2013:
Ozay Moore + 14kt "Taking L's" 

Ozay Moore / Sareem Poems & Hir-O are Your Every Day People "Everyday not your Everyday"

Special Thanks

It's sort of funny. As I was putting together my thoughts for this blog posting, I realized that "Thanksgiving Day" wasn't that long ago and, maybe, this would have been more appropriate then. Still, I think that regardless of that, it makes the most sense to me that I post it today.

You see, I almost quit making music.

Something that is generally true, despite not being stated really often, is that creative people do what they do so that OTHER people will experience it. Writers want their work to be read. Actors need an audience to see them acting. It's that way for every kind of creative expression. All of it, ultimately, doesn't exist if nobody experiences it.

I'm sure many other creative types have had times where their work or talent went under appreciated, viewed with heavy skepticism or out-right ignored. I was under no small illusion that this was part of the struggle to establish yourself in the craft you do. However, it was taking stock of the time and money put in on that pursuit, weighing that against the interest of others for my work, that brought me to the conclusion that my inability to gain a growing audience was the final say.

So I decided to stop. I had my artwork and that was having a bit more traction these days so...that was that.

But then, it wasn't.

And it was because of a very very small but vocal set of people who've taken, what could be a small gesture on their part yet was HUGE in my eyes, to tell me just how much they appreciated and want to hear what it is that I do.

So, here are some special thanks to the people who's interest fuel me to continue, who's true support is more than just expressed from a sense of obligation:

Cary, my good friend and photographer, who has continually asked about both my illustration and music endevours and has expressed on NUMEROUS occasions how a full listen to every one of my projects has been not only fun but worthwhile listening.

Randy, who gave me my first "review," one that encouraged the sort of writing that goes on in my music. His love of great music and understanding of quality, makes the statements he gave hold such a weight to them. To know a listener like him can find my work as quality...there aren't words for that.

Laura, the first woman to give me feedback on my music and, for the most part, not a huge listener of hip hop music. Her words, as a person who doesn't take in a huge amount of the style I use, have been very encouraging. My target audience was for people who like lyrics that have depth to them, not just fans of rap. The fact she enjoyed it and her fav songs where my favs, is a huge encouragement.

Colby, many people may never experience this man's truly heartfelt music and lyrics. I often refer to him as a man I wish I could be, both in content as well as delivery. Colby has for YEARS now, been a good friend and fellow emcee, taking every chance to encourage me, telling me to keep making my music. I can't say how many times but...Colby loves my music. And someone like him loving my work still floors me.

Jordan, one of my bestfriends in the world, he's championed my music in a manner like no other. Without Jordan, I'd likely have never been able to record anything. I've never been a man of means nor one to have the extra funds necessary for paying for any form of record engineering. Jordan started a label, had me fly out west several times and record all of the best sounding recording I've ever done. His passion for me to make music has breed the few scant amount of projects I've done. He's been a brother to me on a level I can't compare with anyone. And he's another guy who does AMAZING music who, for whatever reason, LOVES what I do. I have a hard time believing what I do is that great but his exuberance for my stuff makes me feel as though it could possibly be.

Tabitha, I've known her for over a decade and this author/singer is an amazingly articulate judge of what works and doesn't in very many forms of music. She understands prose and poetry, lyrics and song structure, sarcasm and comedy. I'd wager to say that of most women I've ever met, she's someone who can say intelligent and worthwhile things about most subjects. She listens to my music frequently. There's a world of things that she could listen to, by people far more talented than I. Yet, she likes and listens to my music. It must mean what I'm capable of is something good.

Honestly, there's a few more people and that's not including my mum and sister. There's not a lot, though. But I thought of those above and the few others and, if it were just those dozen or so people whom ever heard my music and enjoyed it, isn't that enough?

I feel like it is. So for the ones I listed and...heck, here's some more: Liz, Dove Wonder Why, Mum, Dave, Paco, Natasha, Cornell, Earl...

I wanna create and YOU are my audience. I want to share my thoughts, ideas and words with you. Anyone else who comes along can join in but even if they don't, I'll continue to share with you. Thanks for encouraging me, thanks for pushing me, thanks for being open enough to really listen.

I hope you like what I plan on next.

- Conduct Lionhardt

How about a bunch of Art, eh?

Soooo...Long story short, this has been a rough year on the financial end of things. Freelance illustration is a tough racket. I've had to cut out (or off) a lot of things to make ends meet. Some things...I really would have like to keep. Now, it looks like internet may be the next to go.

With that being the case, I figured it may be a good idea to spend a few days this week, posting up some art.

I'll also be trying my best to get an interview or two up (with art,) before the point I think I'll end up having to let internet go for awhile. Cross your fingers and pray about that, since it requires my interview subjects to get answers to my questions back to me.

Anyways, here goes some art with small descriptions.

The first one is a portrait piece I did for an old friend, the rest, all sketches (most of them, done just as my warm-up drawings before doing ACTUAL illustrations.)

More to come!

- Conduct Lionhardt

Code of Comrades

I like to contemplate a lot of things. I guess that may read funny for someone whose blog is called "Conducting Thoughts" ha, ha. So, I wanted to share a short thought I've been considering since an odd conversation.

 While at a lunch, a conversation I was having with some buddies turned to a mutual friend who had just released a single and was doing the usual round of promotion, including the constant posting-up about the release on all forms of social media. In the process of the conversation, one friend remarked that this artist had promoted heavily at the church I attend and that it was interesting how artists did that. I'm paraphrasing here but my friend said, when referring to my own releases, that I could have had my work promoted to the congregation at the same level of this other artist but, I had not ASKED to have my work promoted and, thus, no one ever mentioned it in public.

 I found that funny but, being that it was year or so behind me and was my first release (one in which I was still figuring out how to be a releasing artist) I let the point slide.

 What was said next, though, was what prompted the thought of this blog post.

 My friend said that he had bought both my music (and the music of others in the congregation) to "Support my friends."

 Now, I'm not saying that this alone was his sole reason but, it sparked off this idea: What if it was? What if the ONLY reason someone checked my music out was because of some feeling of friendship or obligation?

 Yeah, yeah, I hear the pundits out there screaming, "A sale is a SALE, dude!" but...am I supposed to be happy about that? I'm a visual artist and a music artist. Many of the things I craft and make available for people to experience are, in a lot of ways, hours of my life, hard work, thorough technique (or reasonable facsimilie of) and large portions of what I believe my life is about. In other words, it's a HUGE part of me I'm sharing! And I don't think it's out of line when I say that, if a person is going to purchase my creative output that they should actually LIKE what it is they're buying.

I know, I know...people care about you and, even if it's "not their thing" they feel it's "right" to give out their shillings to invest in your career (or whatever) but... Well, look, maybe its a "creative" thing that I really want what I've poured myself into to be appreciated and have meaning beyond just the "code of comrades." I want you to hear it, LISTEN TO IT, and then, maybe, walk away from it with some new or interesting thoughts. I've always been one of those "music is nothing if it can't emotionally or intellectually (as rare a thing that is to have happen these days) move or touch you." Thus, when I "make music" it's to be something you'll somehow feel an impact from. Do I mind sales? Sure, it's nice to know that people want to support me being creative, financially, but I have created for years, far longer than just the time you could buy my product. It's more than JUST THAT for me. I want you to like it.

So, I guess it could be said that, as much as it's NICE if you buy my stuff to "help a brotha out" I'd personally prefer it if you didn't buy it unless you LIKE IT. As a personal expression and creative piece, I don't really take joy in it being put on a shelf. I want you in it and with me where my thoughts and expressions are going. Whether art or music, that's what I'd like to happen. Sounds or looks good? Get that stuff! Doesn't strike your fancy? Okay, don't waste space by trying to be a "nice guy." Maybe you know someone who's into that sorta thing. Share it with them! Because if they'll like it and really get into it, that's a "buy" I'll take more joy in. And, LOOK, you just supported me in a way that doesn't make my "So, what was your fav track? What verse of mine did you find interesting?" an awkward conversation, right?

 - Conduct Lionhardt

A Brief History of...

When I began this blog, one of my truest intentions was to do interviews with people. I wasn't sure how to go about making that happen so I reached out to some friends and artists I looked upto in music to see if they'd enjoy being interviewed by someone. A few said 'yes' and thus I was off on my journey.
 I wanted my interviews to be different though. With a thousand sites vying to grab attention and traffic by interviewing musical artists, I was pretty sure another blog with 'normal' interviews would just bore people. I also felt the artist likely would feel less excited if the interviews were filled with questions they'd been asked a million times. I decided that, if I wanted this to work, I'd have to forget what I'd read in other interviews and really go about it the one way I was certain would make it completely different: I'd ask only the questions I really cared about getting answers for.
  I know, sounds simple enough and, 'duh,' why wouldn't I ask questions I want answers too. But by doing that, I easily changed what 'Conducting Thoughts' would be. So I started asking about their life outside of music, their hobbies, odd questions that I wanted to know which I was pretty sure few would. It just felt right to do, asking questions that often had very little to do with the overall point of why one would interview an artist who is putting out music. I wanted it to FEEL like I was interested in the PERSON and less the 'artist.' And sometimes I succeded at that...other times, not so much.

Unfortunately, things fizzled out as artists I'd approach would email back really short answers or not respond for months. It had a nice flow when I began but more and more it was becoming a 'once-in-a-while' sort of deal. And I don't think people deserved that from the site. Plus, I was passionate for sparking thoughts. I always have been. I enjoy honest and open communication with people, especially those with a thoughts worth hearing; things spoken with some substance.

So, I just started posting my own thoughts, usually things I'd personally been contemplating for very long periods of time. At first it was sketchy, my thoughts sometimes larger and disjointed from what I'd call a 'good read.' I'm an illustrator first and foremost so writing for a viewership is a totally different gear I have to be in. Sometimes I wasn't there, even if the thought was one I wanted to share.

It didn't turn into an art blog until my social network sites made uploading content a bit more difficult to do. I draw a decent amount of the time and love for people to be able to see stuff. The frustration mounted as those changes went down and it took forever to get stuff uploaded and ready to be seen so, figuring that I HAD put up art of the people I'd interviewed, I started to share stuff on here. Sure, occasionally I would try to shoehorn it into connecting with my 'thoughts' on here but, often or not, my art doesn't always link up with the stuff I'm heavily considering and contemplating.

I guess...haha, why am I going on about all this? Well, I want to continue to share art and thoughts with you few who look upon this page...BUT I also have a hankering to interview some people. Before it had just been music artists but I want to speak with as wide a range of people as I know (and that's an eclectic bunch, lemme tell you!)

So, whilst I seek those out and try to find time to draw up non-work images (while also trying to garner paying work) I ask that you just bare with me. I'm sure we all feel the pressures of the times and realize that it isn't the easiest moment in history to spend hours being creative but, as always, I'll try my best to keep this as a place you'll want to stop by...for one reason or another.

- Conduct Lionhardt