Code of Comrades

I like to contemplate a lot of things. I guess that may read funny for someone whose blog is called "Conducting Thoughts" ha, ha. So, I wanted to share a short thought I've been considering since an odd conversation.

 While at a lunch, a conversation I was having with some buddies turned to a mutual friend who had just released a single and was doing the usual round of promotion, including the constant posting-up about the release on all forms of social media. In the process of the conversation, one friend remarked that this artist had promoted heavily at the church I attend and that it was interesting how artists did that. I'm paraphrasing here but my friend said, when referring to my own releases, that I could have had my work promoted to the congregation at the same level of this other artist but, I had not ASKED to have my work promoted and, thus, no one ever mentioned it in public.

 I found that funny but, being that it was year or so behind me and was my first release (one in which I was still figuring out how to be a releasing artist) I let the point slide.

 What was said next, though, was what prompted the thought of this blog post.

 My friend said that he had bought both my music (and the music of others in the congregation) to "Support my friends."

 Now, I'm not saying that this alone was his sole reason but, it sparked off this idea: What if it was? What if the ONLY reason someone checked my music out was because of some feeling of friendship or obligation?

 Yeah, yeah, I hear the pundits out there screaming, "A sale is a SALE, dude!" but...am I supposed to be happy about that? I'm a visual artist and a music artist. Many of the things I craft and make available for people to experience are, in a lot of ways, hours of my life, hard work, thorough technique (or reasonable facsimilie of) and large portions of what I believe my life is about. In other words, it's a HUGE part of me I'm sharing! And I don't think it's out of line when I say that, if a person is going to purchase my creative output that they should actually LIKE what it is they're buying.

I know, I know...people care about you and, even if it's "not their thing" they feel it's "right" to give out their shillings to invest in your career (or whatever) but... Well, look, maybe its a "creative" thing that I really want what I've poured myself into to be appreciated and have meaning beyond just the "code of comrades." I want you to hear it, LISTEN TO IT, and then, maybe, walk away from it with some new or interesting thoughts. I've always been one of those "music is nothing if it can't emotionally or intellectually (as rare a thing that is to have happen these days) move or touch you." Thus, when I "make music" it's to be something you'll somehow feel an impact from. Do I mind sales? Sure, it's nice to know that people want to support me being creative, financially, but I have created for years, far longer than just the time you could buy my product. It's more than JUST THAT for me. I want you to like it.

So, I guess it could be said that, as much as it's NICE if you buy my stuff to "help a brotha out" I'd personally prefer it if you didn't buy it unless you LIKE IT. As a personal expression and creative piece, I don't really take joy in it being put on a shelf. I want you in it and with me where my thoughts and expressions are going. Whether art or music, that's what I'd like to happen. Sounds or looks good? Get that stuff! Doesn't strike your fancy? Okay, don't waste space by trying to be a "nice guy." Maybe you know someone who's into that sorta thing. Share it with them! Because if they'll like it and really get into it, that's a "buy" I'll take more joy in. And, LOOK, you just supported me in a way that doesn't make my "So, what was your fav track? What verse of mine did you find interesting?" an awkward conversation, right?

 - Conduct Lionhardt

A Brief History of...

When I began this blog, one of my truest intentions was to do interviews with people. I wasn't sure how to go about making that happen so I reached out to some friends and artists I looked upto in music to see if they'd enjoy being interviewed by someone. A few said 'yes' and thus I was off on my journey.
 I wanted my interviews to be different though. With a thousand sites vying to grab attention and traffic by interviewing musical artists, I was pretty sure another blog with 'normal' interviews would just bore people. I also felt the artist likely would feel less excited if the interviews were filled with questions they'd been asked a million times. I decided that, if I wanted this to work, I'd have to forget what I'd read in other interviews and really go about it the one way I was certain would make it completely different: I'd ask only the questions I really cared about getting answers for.
  I know, sounds simple enough and, 'duh,' why wouldn't I ask questions I want answers too. But by doing that, I easily changed what 'Conducting Thoughts' would be. So I started asking about their life outside of music, their hobbies, odd questions that I wanted to know which I was pretty sure few would. It just felt right to do, asking questions that often had very little to do with the overall point of why one would interview an artist who is putting out music. I wanted it to FEEL like I was interested in the PERSON and less the 'artist.' And sometimes I succeded at that...other times, not so much.

Unfortunately, things fizzled out as artists I'd approach would email back really short answers or not respond for months. It had a nice flow when I began but more and more it was becoming a 'once-in-a-while' sort of deal. And I don't think people deserved that from the site. Plus, I was passionate for sparking thoughts. I always have been. I enjoy honest and open communication with people, especially those with a thoughts worth hearing; things spoken with some substance.

So, I just started posting my own thoughts, usually things I'd personally been contemplating for very long periods of time. At first it was sketchy, my thoughts sometimes larger and disjointed from what I'd call a 'good read.' I'm an illustrator first and foremost so writing for a viewership is a totally different gear I have to be in. Sometimes I wasn't there, even if the thought was one I wanted to share.

It didn't turn into an art blog until my social network sites made uploading content a bit more difficult to do. I draw a decent amount of the time and love for people to be able to see stuff. The frustration mounted as those changes went down and it took forever to get stuff uploaded and ready to be seen so, figuring that I HAD put up art of the people I'd interviewed, I started to share stuff on here. Sure, occasionally I would try to shoehorn it into connecting with my 'thoughts' on here but, often or not, my art doesn't always link up with the stuff I'm heavily considering and contemplating.

I guess...haha, why am I going on about all this? Well, I want to continue to share art and thoughts with you few who look upon this page...BUT I also have a hankering to interview some people. Before it had just been music artists but I want to speak with as wide a range of people as I know (and that's an eclectic bunch, lemme tell you!)

So, whilst I seek those out and try to find time to draw up non-work images (while also trying to garner paying work) I ask that you just bare with me. I'm sure we all feel the pressures of the times and realize that it isn't the easiest moment in history to spend hours being creative but, as always, I'll try my best to keep this as a place you'll want to stop by...for one reason or another.

- Conduct Lionhardt

Recent stuff! Yay!

Let's take a look at some new (or...well, MORE recent) art, huh? Sh'yeah!!

A commission piece I'm working on of actor, Idris Elba. I'm actually a huge fan of his...well everything. Ha, ha. His BBC show, "Luther," may possibly be one of my favorite shows. EVER. So, this was neat to work on. I actually broke out some new pencils on this one. Loving how they "feel" on the Bristol. There's a few things I'm going change when I finalize it and there's some background to add but, yeah, should end up being pretty good...hopefully. Ha.

So, here's a portrait of two students I know and the thing that really made me want to do this for them was the expressions here. Something that a lot of art doesn't do for me is have pure expressions. These faces...look at them. Its so funny how an image can tell you so much about someone and if you got to know these two, you'd surely see that this is a great intro into their character. That said...the pencil looks so light in this scanned image. Not too happy with that and maybe I should snap a shot and so it looks more like the page. (Nitpicky) Anyways, I like some of the detail work in the shading. They liked it too. Hope you do as well.

I do some warm-up sketches. Or, should I say, "sketches." Ha, ha. I usually do them in ink and often, differently styles. I haven't really landed on a technique I feel comfortable with yet. Anyways, this was a suggestion I got from a friend on facebook to draw the Wildstorm Comics character, Warblade, and somehow incorporate Pittsburgh into the image. For whatever reason, I thought it would be great to have the character in some construction clothes eating a classic Pittsburgh staple, a Primanti Bros sandwich. My fav part of the image is the crumbs from his mouth dribbling out and the fabric. Oh, I also dig the crumbs coming off his blade fingers. (YES, I get the joke that he looks very Edward Scissorhand-y. I didn't design the character.)

More to come soon. I'm a busy boy of late and I have a scanner to prove it.

- Conduct Lionhardt

Pressures

Hey my half dozen readers. Sorry for the long delay on posts. As I've stressed before, life sure knows how to gum up the works for this machine. When push comes to shove, I end up having to give the good 'ole blog the last of my focus.

Anways, I wanted to share an interesting fact about my art. A lot of people (haha) have heard me making statements about it where, I likely come off as too hard on myself or self-depreciating.
The fact of the matter is, yes, I do think a good deal of my work is lacking but, its not a thing where I'm being a "perfectionist," always having problems with every little detail. (Okay, honestly, I CAN be that guy too but...) I'm also not knocking my talent for a lack of much professional use. (That fact is debatable. I'm sure some of the people who "know" me would say it could be true. People feel that seeing everything in bright lights and being mentioned all over the place, defines professional. ya know, hardwork and many projects aside...)

No, my real problem with my work is a knowledge that I CAN do better. I just have an issue with most of what I do being work done under various pressures.

I'm not gonna waste time here talking about deadlines and life obligations and what those do to work quality, though. Seems like too much of a cop-out or excuse, right? No, what I'm gonna share, though, is that there's a clarity of skill that's apparent in the projects I do that get worked on when I have the least amount of "pressures." (Please note the plural.)

Deadlines are a given in a variety of fields and if you can't learn to hone your craft to meet them, I'd suggest something else as a line of work. But I'm sure every professional out there, will tell you that a large part of being a great worker and someone who can own the term, comes when you can grasp and learn to manage the juggling act of life. Things outside of work, schedule and time always will have some effect (large or small) on your approach. When I'm taking care of it the best, you see it in my stuff...and when I'm NOT, you see it too.

When I can seep into my work, when the art and I become one and the focus is set on the goal, you see some of the better design, layout, and visual crafting than you would when my mind is split focused.

So, what's my point? Well, to be honest, and I'm pretty sure many can agree, its not easily the best time to be a freelance...anything. Things are tight, extra non-what you prefer doing work is often required, and the cool stuff (or fun or, ultimately, creative stuff) ends up getting less focus on. That's sort of the nature of how things are at the moment. But. One must learn to perservere and push forward. You have to grow and progress and learn to handle the pressures that you run across in this life. And that's not only professionally speaking. You have to develope those skills outside of career too. Things aren't just going to bestow you with perfection (or your definition of.)

I'm learning and honing that in my life. In my career. And, for you few who are checking out my blog and, eventually, my website, you get to SEE me grow into being a man whom Pressures don't effect the quality of my skill...and my life.

- Conduct Lionhardt

Deceptive Perceptive?

I've had quite a lot of "thoughts" on my mind of late but, for whatever odd reason, I don't use this blog to just spew whatever I think of all the time. (I have a terrible habit of...really thinking through stuff. I'm sure it bothers people too...oh, and it certainly connects with the topic for today's post, as well.)

There's a comic publisher called Image Comics that has been really doing some great series by creators of all types and championing the ideas of creator-owned rights by the writers and artists. (IN the laymens, if you work for say Marvel on its characters and you create a new one, the company keeps the rights, as per their latest contracts) Image has really been challenging all the major companies by basically publishing stuff that the creators do, which those same creators retain full ownership of their ideas and concepts. (I know this may sound like a "duh" situation but, in the comic industry, its been a hot button arguments of policies and intentions for various years now)

Anyways, I say all that to bring a crucial point to bear (and, sadly, it only slightly connects to the theme here): Image, is a BIG deal to all of us.

Yeah. To EVERYONE.

But I'm not saying something we don't all already know, right? Whether a family man, an athelete, a warehouse worker, mother, professional writer, etc, etc, etc...we are all often aware of our image (or what we believe our personality is perceived as by others.) That's a given.

What is an interesting idea, though, is that we all believe in the most pronounced aspects of ourselves being that which feeds into whatever the "image" is that we have. We wholeheartedly believe that if we're working many hours, people will see you as someone who works hard and long everyday. Or, if you're a published author and you're writing  away, the "image" is that you must have SOME perceivable skill at words and story structure (even if rudimentary in the eyes of the more well versed in Literary works). People see a writer and KNOW he or she, IS  a "writer." That's how it works. Our "image" is what is "perception."

Funny thing about that...that isn't how it always works out.

I discovered something about "who I am" to people recently, ideals of what I SEEM to be to some folk who "know" me. It wasn't anything along the lines of that which I've made pretty apparent in recent times...not to mention the last couple years of my life. Those who check out this blog know that I'm a "struggling artist" (a term I probably should do a phrase search on to see where it originated) and that I am a burgeoning music artist (of very small works, often taking years to complete.) So, you would surely guess that since I use both this and a few other sites to promote my work and talent that, for the most part, some would (at LEAST) mention those facts about me when it comes time for perceiving my "image."

So, imagine my shock when I was at a meeting with people who've known me for a few years, being surprised to find that I both do art/design and that I record and release music. It's not like I've been "quiet" about either of those things and, this particular group of people, have seen me prominantly display both talents over the time period they've known me.

What was the problem then? How could two of my most important expressions be so easily missed in lieu of other things?

The truth of it all is kind of simple. People perceive based out of what is important to them. It didn't matter that those things were important to me. These folks were looking at the "image" that is me, basing it on their own notions of what matters. I suppose that the work I've done the past few years doesn't matter because there are other elements they key in on. My hair, for instance. I can't imagine to tell you how many conversations my dreadlocks get. They even get commented on when they are in a hat and out of sight! Or my facial hair growth, or the fact that lately times have been a bit more strapped due to the economy effecting how much work comes my way. Shoot, I've even had several conversations where people were trying to convince me to sell everything I own and just fly to a random new city, on the basis of me possibly being able to start fresh with an entirely new career!

All of this has brought me to some interesting time thinking about perception and the deceptive nature that others, or even yourself, can place you. I'd love to be recognized for the work I do and the personality I have but that's MY interpretation of me. Other people look at things differently. They aren't just going to "snap-to-guide" of my ideal image of what makes me Conduct Lionhardt. And I would be a FOOL to really get offended by that. We are all trying to make our way through these paths that our lives take them. Narrow and difficult or broad and "easy," we are all just trying to work to goals and make a space in which we can be ourselves and, hopefully, effect more than just our own lives. It is a process, one with many turns and challenges. Even those closest to us (or whom we perceive as being close) can misread or even assume certain things about you, in turn missing the "image" we're putting out there.

It doesn't make them wrong or make YOU wrong. Sometimes its deceptive how perceptive we think we are and it takes being aware, to truly breakaway from what others tell you that you are...and even what YOU tell YOURSELF, that you are. None of us are perfect. All of us can be multi-faceted. But hopefully, whether we are wrong, they are wrong, or we are unaware of what we truly are, we don't give up. Do not fall into the trap of people pleasing. And do not every think that because some people define you a certain way that its who you actually are or ALL that you can be.

I'm still working out the kinks of being Conduct Lionhardt. It is a mission to be whom I want to be and certainly not what I am...yet. Hopefully, as I write, record, draw, and live life, I'll keep from having an "image" or other perceptions define that. I'm striving to be the best me that can be had. You should too.

(oh, and if you know someone connected to Image Comics, maybe you could drop them a line that says, "Great work, guys. I hope to join the movement sometimes soon.")

- Conduct Lionhardt

A Rough Go of things

Geez...I'm only managing a post a month here. Sheesh. Sorry again for that.

In all honesty, I could bore to tears the series of things that have popped up in my life to derail consistency in my posting here. But I'm trying to continually remind myself that external things effecting output is really just an excuse. I need to get priorities straight and its me that just doesn't do it. I mean, its not like I have a staff doing my art or music, ya know?

Since I've been having a rough go of things, in my everyday life, what you'll see below is a bunch of roughs. Pages, layouts, and design work. None of it is the finished versions of anything. I just figured that since much of what I do is stuff I'd have to get cleared for to post up, I can show you some stuff that's either in-the-works OR that I've fooled around with inbetween more official pieces. Some of this is WAAAY older and some of it is quite new.

Enjoy. And I'll triple my efforts to have a more interesting post, both visually as well as written-wise.

- Conduct Lionhardt

Grundy No Like Updates!

So, its been forever and a day since I last updated the page. I keep having to apologize for that...which is pretty sad. I shall once again resolve to, at least, attempt 2 postings per week for the rest of the summer. We'll see how that goes...

I know I promised to do some interviews but, it seems the subjects that were in the works for those have either gone awol or gotten too busy to respond to half the questions so, sadly for now, the interview series is still a ways off as I start the process of setting up new one to replace those that fell through.

I had a few people submit ideas for me to do quick warm-up sketches of a month back. I was only able to do 5 though (thanks to paying work and obligations taking up all my time.) I was looking forward to daily drops of art for you guys but, well, that didn't happen. I looked back over them and found them to be lacking quite a bit. I did however love this one of Solomon Grundy that I did, despite running out of time on it before adding grays. Anyways, here's Solomon Grundy, born on a Monday, rubbing his eye after being hit by Hawkgirl's mace. (Justice League animated series reference, FTW!)

Solomon Grundy, brush pens/technical pens on bristol board.